Fridays Reflection_01/20/06

This week has been a life experience of crisis and grief. Returning to Abilene after attending Virgil's class, I was expecting to get back into my clinical rounds, and visitations with patients and families. Monday started off fairly normal, attending orientation and going to St.Lukes. While there, I remember 2 specific people that I got to talk with. Both had been married over 30+ years, with their spouses there with them in the hospital room, fighting and struggling along with this illness and unexpected "uprooting" of life. They were a smile among the frowns, a light in the clouds and a hand to hold in the crowd of confusion. It was obvious to me how spirited people are lying in bed, when they have a visitor or loved one in the room with them. How encouraged they are to share this crisis with someone who will not leave them. It sure makes my visit easier to communicate with the person and their family member.

Tuesday, we received word of Edwena's passing. I left work, after being there but 30 minutes, to be with my family. It was a different experience, after being on the side of chaplaincy and some of the "training" I had received. Some observations I noted were the differences in how people deal with loss. Humor, rediculous humor that seems even out of place. Stories of loved ones to feel as though they are still present. Walls of sleep deprevation, and of course the ease to shed a tear when hugged by a friend. The hospice staff person talked way too much and did not seem to let the family have their time with visitors in a personal settings. Feeling somewhat pressured to share stories and life lessons... without being asked. You are never too old to cry. Edwena or Baaboo as we called her, had a 98 year old brother that seems to cry while just trying to talk about stories. Probably facing the ever present realization of his own funeral shortly. One last thing I learned, people giving statements or words during a funeral service never feel adequate about their involvement. As it should be. It is an honor to be invited to lead the rememberance of someones life. To lead the prayer, say the scripture, stand at the Table of Communion, to Remember together until one day we can all be gathered together again in Heaven.