but what about you?
In dealing with patients, their families, nurses and doctors on a daily basis now in the hospital chaplain program, there is something about my life that is continually brought into the open. As much as we try to avoid it- ministering to others is really a ministry to ourselves. How so? Let's reflect on this evenings occurrences and why it seems I am now full throttle in caring for others. I think its no coincidence-
We left the house around 4:30pm to take the kids to church, at which point we met up with Julie and Ethan and headed for dinner with Brad and April. As we sat there eating our appetizer, enjoying the company, and being funny and silly and just having a good time, my night changed. We were looking over the menu for choices for dinner and even dessert, and I said 'oh man......... I forgot to put my insulin pump back on.' Here we were, some 2 hours later, and would not be home until after 8:30 I would imagine. And I became very angry. No where close to home, and the choices were slim.
Fake Therapist: How did that make you feel?
Steve: Like beating the crap out of the table; yelling at everyone who talked to me, asking everyone who has ever asked me the question "should you be eating that" if they ever had to reevaluate their eating habits based purely on insulin dependence or just fat intake; sitting in silence and being very quiet, and thinking about how this just plain sucks.
Fake Therapist: So what did you do?
Steve: I ignored it, thought maybe, well I can go 4.5hrs without insulin.
The Real Steve: Then I said to Jennifer, I can't go this long without insulin.
And there it hit me, reality, waking up from my dream, being brought back to my reality and hell; I depend on something that has no thought pattern, no substance, no life, no soul, no common sense and requires a AAA battery to live an abnormal life. I hate this disease. I hate being tied to this pump everywhere I go. I hate that I can't leave the house without it. I hate if I do leave the house, I have to go back. I hate that after we walked 2 blocks to Walgreens to buy an OTC insulin, and giving myself an injection, that the bottle dropped and broke, thereby just wasting $40 bucks.
So how does that give me any background into why I want to get out of the computer support business, and into a ministry of Jesus Christ, providing a compassionate resonance with other who are either serious ill in body or spirit? I think I know. But how does your imperfect condition prompt you to serve? Do you let it?
We left the house around 4:30pm to take the kids to church, at which point we met up with Julie and Ethan and headed for dinner with Brad and April. As we sat there eating our appetizer, enjoying the company, and being funny and silly and just having a good time, my night changed. We were looking over the menu for choices for dinner and even dessert, and I said 'oh man......... I forgot to put my insulin pump back on.' Here we were, some 2 hours later, and would not be home until after 8:30 I would imagine. And I became very angry. No where close to home, and the choices were slim.
Fake Therapist: How did that make you feel?
Steve: Like beating the crap out of the table; yelling at everyone who talked to me, asking everyone who has ever asked me the question "should you be eating that" if they ever had to reevaluate their eating habits based purely on insulin dependence or just fat intake; sitting in silence and being very quiet, and thinking about how this just plain sucks.
Fake Therapist: So what did you do?
Steve: I ignored it, thought maybe, well I can go 4.5hrs without insulin.
The Real Steve: Then I said to Jennifer, I can't go this long without insulin.
And there it hit me, reality, waking up from my dream, being brought back to my reality and hell; I depend on something that has no thought pattern, no substance, no life, no soul, no common sense and requires a AAA battery to live an abnormal life. I hate this disease. I hate being tied to this pump everywhere I go. I hate that I can't leave the house without it. I hate if I do leave the house, I have to go back. I hate that after we walked 2 blocks to Walgreens to buy an OTC insulin, and giving myself an injection, that the bottle dropped and broke, thereby just wasting $40 bucks.
So how does that give me any background into why I want to get out of the computer support business, and into a ministry of Jesus Christ, providing a compassionate resonance with other who are either serious ill in body or spirit? I think I know. But how does your imperfect condition prompt you to serve? Do you let it?
posted by sirEller | 8:44 PM
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