Review and Reflection of “Tuesday’s With Morrie”
The purpose of this paper is to spend a few moments in reflection on the recent movie I watched “Tuesday’s with Morrie”. The power and insight to this film and life of Morrie, has a great many implications and affects on how we care for the seriously ill, how we care for those who give care, and how we care for ourselves.
To begin, this story of ones man life reflects the realization that all who encounter death and life have something to offer others. Are we willing to sit and listen? Are we willing to grow and be challenged? Are we willing to every face our fears and doubts with honesty? The first observation I encountered in the life of Mitch and Morrie was the failed promises and quick comments and reactions to questions. To me, it brings about the realization of how we as a calming presence and non-anxious presence to those who are seriously-ill, should be very careful and mindful of our promises and quick-witted vernacular. Mitch learned this lesson 16 years later, but at least he learned it. The promise he made to remain in touch was honored, even though it may not have been on the time-frame he imagined, but was encouraged when the promise was fulfilled. Morrie’s day was brightened by the visit of an old friend, and good buddy. And the next promise Mitch made was one he knew he would keep, but at some level was hoping he wouldn’t. Facing those who are seriously-ill, brings to the forefront the mortality of our own lives as well as those who we dearly love. And to promise to return, to see the situations become worse, to see the pain in the suffering, and to encounter the tears of love and sorrow….hurts, because those tears are a fear of ours, coming to the reality we may one day be in pain and suffering. The comments and promises we make should be well-thought-out and sometimes even reworded, so as not to promise something we cannot keep. We are the hand, the smile, the voice of Christ, the body of Christ coming to those who need him, in a time when they need him most, and our presence is one cherished like a visit from an angel. Comforted by the fact we care enough to stop our lives to love them. But the uneasiness and uncomfortable feelings we encounter, I encounter when visiting patients and friends, sometimes lends itself to offer words I do not intend to fulfill, so that I can get out of the situation and back to my life of comfort and … here it is…. Control. I cannot control those who are seriously ill, or the pain they feel or the words they may utter. And that scares me.
Another observation was how the caregiver in the movie was not even recognized until the very end. As Mitch walks in the room, to get away from Jeanine and Morrie’s conversation, Connie is startled by his presence thinking she needs to be doing something, that he needs something. At which Mitch responds, and finally acknowledges, ‘you look exhausted’. Even though the caregivers are paid, and are there by choice, there is an amount of stress and reality poured into their spirit from the affect a dying person, and the amount of care they require. I was deeply moved by the reality of this, and I think it was done very well, to leave Connie out of the picture until the very end, allowing everyone to just use her, walk in the house and not speak to her or truly acknowledge and converse with her. She was there for everyone, a maid of sorts, but the caregiver is a person too, and their feelings and needs are being tested and grown through the encounter in caring deeply for someone they may not have know the week earlier. But loving them as if they are the most important person in the world. And that is what our friends need, who are seriously ill and dying, someone to care for them completely, unconditionally and Christly. It is hard being a caregiver, it is draining, it is demanding, and at some points, the reward does not seem to match the work, for the reward in providing good care is the person dies. It takes a special person to do that work.
The last observation I would like to reflect on is how the life of a seriously ill person affects me. It changes our relationships; it makes us reevaluate our purpose and our goals of life. And if it doesn’t then it needs to. Mitch realized the importance of his life and love through the death of another. This impact is invaluable. The change in us is not to avoid the pain, but to find someone we trust, someone we love completely, unconditionally, to be with us when that pain is born and the trials and struggles of life and crisis arise. Jesus Christ is our calming presence, and our constant presence, but the hand of another is what we long to hold on to when it’s time to say ‘good-bye’.
To begin, this story of ones man life reflects the realization that all who encounter death and life have something to offer others. Are we willing to sit and listen? Are we willing to grow and be challenged? Are we willing to every face our fears and doubts with honesty? The first observation I encountered in the life of Mitch and Morrie was the failed promises and quick comments and reactions to questions. To me, it brings about the realization of how we as a calming presence and non-anxious presence to those who are seriously-ill, should be very careful and mindful of our promises and quick-witted vernacular. Mitch learned this lesson 16 years later, but at least he learned it. The promise he made to remain in touch was honored, even though it may not have been on the time-frame he imagined, but was encouraged when the promise was fulfilled. Morrie’s day was brightened by the visit of an old friend, and good buddy. And the next promise Mitch made was one he knew he would keep, but at some level was hoping he wouldn’t. Facing those who are seriously-ill, brings to the forefront the mortality of our own lives as well as those who we dearly love. And to promise to return, to see the situations become worse, to see the pain in the suffering, and to encounter the tears of love and sorrow….hurts, because those tears are a fear of ours, coming to the reality we may one day be in pain and suffering. The comments and promises we make should be well-thought-out and sometimes even reworded, so as not to promise something we cannot keep. We are the hand, the smile, the voice of Christ, the body of Christ coming to those who need him, in a time when they need him most, and our presence is one cherished like a visit from an angel. Comforted by the fact we care enough to stop our lives to love them. But the uneasiness and uncomfortable feelings we encounter, I encounter when visiting patients and friends, sometimes lends itself to offer words I do not intend to fulfill, so that I can get out of the situation and back to my life of comfort and … here it is…. Control. I cannot control those who are seriously ill, or the pain they feel or the words they may utter. And that scares me.
Another observation was how the caregiver in the movie was not even recognized until the very end. As Mitch walks in the room, to get away from Jeanine and Morrie’s conversation, Connie is startled by his presence thinking she needs to be doing something, that he needs something. At which Mitch responds, and finally acknowledges, ‘you look exhausted’. Even though the caregivers are paid, and are there by choice, there is an amount of stress and reality poured into their spirit from the affect a dying person, and the amount of care they require. I was deeply moved by the reality of this, and I think it was done very well, to leave Connie out of the picture until the very end, allowing everyone to just use her, walk in the house and not speak to her or truly acknowledge and converse with her. She was there for everyone, a maid of sorts, but the caregiver is a person too, and their feelings and needs are being tested and grown through the encounter in caring deeply for someone they may not have know the week earlier. But loving them as if they are the most important person in the world. And that is what our friends need, who are seriously ill and dying, someone to care for them completely, unconditionally and Christly. It is hard being a caregiver, it is draining, it is demanding, and at some points, the reward does not seem to match the work, for the reward in providing good care is the person dies. It takes a special person to do that work.
The last observation I would like to reflect on is how the life of a seriously ill person affects me. It changes our relationships; it makes us reevaluate our purpose and our goals of life. And if it doesn’t then it needs to. Mitch realized the importance of his life and love through the death of another. This impact is invaluable. The change in us is not to avoid the pain, but to find someone we trust, someone we love completely, unconditionally, to be with us when that pain is born and the trials and struggles of life and crisis arise. Jesus Christ is our calming presence, and our constant presence, but the hand of another is what we long to hold on to when it’s time to say ‘good-bye’.
posted by sirEller | 7:33 AM
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